Blood: the best way to learn a lesson
Jan 16th, 2009 by Cory
Is there any better catalyst for learning a lesson than blood?
Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up at 3:30 AM with a low blood sugar. The Boy woke up hungry 30 minutes later. By the time I got up for good, The Boy needed to be fed again, the house needed to be prepared for a visit from the cleaning people, I needed to get showered and I felt like I was already late getting logged into work.
I know, big deal. Parents deal with this kind of crap all the time.
But I was tired. And rushed. And my pancreas doesn’t work right. I was able to derive my morning into a mathematical formula:
Fatigue + being rushed + low blood sugar hangover + razor blades = blood.
Because I work from home, I’m not in the habit of shaving regularly. Lisa is lucky if it happens two, maybe three times a week. However, Mr. Plaid’s birthday was this week, so we were meeting the in-laws for supper that night. I figured I could refrain from looking like a suburban hobo for one day.
In my haste to get ready, I apparently forgot one of the major tenets of shaving: never move the razor vertically up your neck and chin in a jerky motion. Otherwise, there will be blood. I’m now sporting a nice cut on my chin. If anyone asks, I’ll boast that I got it in one of those notorious Collin County gangland street fights.
So kids, here’s the lesson: when you are rushed, tired, and/or have a retarded pancreas, go for the electric shaver. It’ll save you a nasty cut that Al Capone himself wouldn’t find too shabby.
